One

Where do I even begin to find the words to describe how being your Mama makes me feel.  You are everything I dreamed a daughter would be and so much more than I hoped for. You are so alike to your two older brothers yet you are different too, you rough and tumble with them giggling as you are pulled by your foot by Mason but only for a moment until you climb and pounce on him, but you are softer, more gentle and sensitive always reaching out to touch someones face.  Your relationship with your brothers is just developing and it is so beautiful to watch and listen to. I hear their voices yelling 'shes coming', and they run past me with you crawling after them squealing with delight. Everywhere they are you must be, you let them know instantly if they close the door to outside without you. You are clingier, exploring but never letting your comfort out of your eyesight. Your favourite position is to be on my hip, for the most part of the day, and whilst my back doesn't appreciate it, I do secretly love it as I know it wont be long before I blink and you are instead at my side holding my hand.

You are cheeky, we will call your name for ages while searching for you around the house, only to find you hiding with the door closed behind you as you fosic through a cupboard. Your 'tin can' grin is infectious and makes us all smile, you laugh often you throw all of yourself into it.

I love getting up to you, well perhaps not still in the middle of the night, but seeing you standing in your cot with your arms outstretched always warms my heart.  Your sweet sounds are heard all through the house.

You are feisty and curious, observing only for a moment and then throwing yourself into whatever you decided you wanted to be a part of.

You remind me of myself as a child, I watch as you move constantly, always needing to be doing something and with a determination that is of such force it will  be reckoned with one day. I love that you inherited these qualities. And yes they are qualities, do not let anyone tell you otherwise little one.

My baby girl I dreamed of being your mother for so long before you arrived, now that you have been in our lives for 12 months I could never imagine our lives with you not here.

You make us even happier than we ever could have imagined and you add such a spark to our lives. I will love you unconditionally always, I am connected to your soul, I am your mother and friend. You have a confident in me, you have a protector and I stop and I am reminded constantly throughout the day how lucky we are that you chose us to share your life with.

I love you my darling Indiana, I am so grateful you were blessed into our lives and I will love you always.

I will watch the clock click over to 5:25 am today on the 16th of May, just before the sun rose, the moment you entered our world watched on by your Daddy and two brothers. I will remember those early moments where I held you in the warmth of the pool with the fire going and your brothers running around the house like nothing had changed, drinking their milo's and getting ready for school. I remember waking to feed you in the middle of the cold nights, thankfully not needing to move far when you woke and lying back down with you in our bed. I remember the adjustment from 2 to 3 little ones, I remember this clearly, as I am still working my way around this, some days are easier than others, but without doubt I feel increibly blessed to have all three of you in my life. I remember lying with you on my chest as you latched onto my chain and played with it in your fingers. I remember the feeling of complete happiness I get when I look at you and your brothers and know how lucky I am.  I love you baby girl, and I cannot wait to explore the next 12 months with you, where you begin to run, explore and engage more.